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Have you ever wondered what your life would be like if you stopped living on autopilot and truly started choosing each day? 😊
As a psychologist, astrologer and confessed lover of the human brain, I have seen the same thing over and over in my practice: people full of potential who feel empty, trapped in routine, connected to their phones but disconnected from themselves.
A neurosurgeon, Andrew Brunswick, who works with people in extreme situations, noticed the same pattern from the operating room. His patients, when faced with life's fragility, talk about regrets, fears, neglected relationships
From that, he summarized seven simple rules to change the way you live and give more meaning to your days.
Today I want to tell you these ideas with my personal touch, from psychology, neuroscience and a bit of astrology too, because the natal chart can show your tendencies, but you choose how you want to live 😉.
When someone tells me in therapy: “I want to change my life”, they almost never mean only changing jobs or cities. They mean something deeper.
Improving the way you live usually means:
The good news: the brain changes throughout life. Neuroscience calls it neuroplasticity. Each time you choose a new behavior, even a small one, you teach the brain a new path. You don't need a total revolution, but simple rules you can apply every day.
Here are the seven rules inspired by Brunswick's work and that I have also verified with patients and in workshops. They aren't abstract theories; they work if you apply them consistently.
Many people move as if someone has set the autopilot mode. They get up, complain, work, get distracted by the phone, fall asleep, repeat.
The first rule is to look at your life attentively. Ask yourself several times a day:
In psychology this is called mindfulness. Brain scans show that when you practice presence, the prefrontal cortex — the area that regulates impulses and decisions — strengthens. Translated: you react less out of inertia and choose more with awareness.
A simple exercise I give many patients: while you eat, do it without your phone and without the TV. Just you, the plate, the taste and your breathing. It seems silly, but you train your mind to be here and now.
We live in a culture that sells you the idea that you need more of everything to be happy: more clothes, more goals, more courses, more series, more notifications.
Brunswick insists on something very simple: remove instead of accumulate. And I completely agree. When I help someone with anxiety, many times they don't need more techniques, but less noise.
Ask yourself:
The mind breathes when you declutter. Minimalism isn't just a pretty Instagram trend, it's a psychological gift. By reducing the unnecessary, you recognize more clearly what truly matters.
Your comfort zone feels safe, but it also becomes a silent cage. The brain loves routine because it uses less energy, but if you never challenge it, it becomes lazy and your self-esteem stagnates.
I propose something: choose a challenge that gives you a bit of fear and excitement at the same time. For example:
Every time you cross a personal boundary, your brain releases dopamine, the neurotransmitter of achievement. And a powerful message is recorded: “I am capable of more than I thought”.
At a motivational talk a man told me: “I thought I would faint when I told my story in public, but afterward I slept better than I had in years.” The achievement wasn't speaking perfectly, it was daring.
Scientific evidence repeats it tirelessly: quality relationships predict your well-being and health more than money or professional success. The famous Harvard study on happiness, which follows people for decades, reached that very conclusion.
Brunswick sees it clearly in the hospital: in critical moments, people don't ask to see their résumé, they ask to see their loved ones.
Reflect:
I invite you to make a small daily “emotional investment”:
Your nervous system calms when you feel connected. You're not a machine, you're a deeply relational being.
I know, it sounds harsh, but it's liberating: you won't have time for everything. And that's okay, because precisely for that reason your time is precious.
Many people organize their schedule as if they were immortal. They fill days with automatic errands and leave the important things for “someday”: that personal project, that pending conversation, that trip, that rest.
I propose a shift that works very well with my patients:
When you remember that time is limited, you stop postponing the essential. Curiously, many people become calmer when they accept they can't do it all.
In therapy I often hear phrases like: “I studied this because my family expected it” or “I married because it was time” or “I work at something I hate, but it gives status”.
Brunswick observes something similar: many people wake up halfway through life with the uncomfortable feeling of having lived someone else's script.
Living your own life means aligning these three things:
From astrology, the natal chart shows your tendencies, talents and main challenges. But it's not a sentence, it's a map. You decide whether to follow the route of your essence or the route of social pressure.
Ask yourself uncomfortable but necessary questions:
Your inner peace grows when your decisions look more like you, and less like what others think.
The last rule may sound spiritual, but it also has scientific support. Various studies in positive psychology show that people who give to others, genuinely, have greater well-being, better health and feel more life meaning.
Giving your life doesn't mean sacrificing yourself to exhaustion. It means sharing:
Brunswick sums it up humanely when he says that, in critical moments, almost no one says “I wish I had worked more,” but many say “I wish I had spent more time with those I love”.
When you give something of yourself, the ego turns the volume down a bit and something larger appears: meaning.
You might think: “All this sounds great, but my life is a mess, where do I start” 😅.
Relax, you don't need to change everything in a week. Here's a practical way to begin:
The key is not intensity, but consistency. The brain learns better with small continuous repetitions than with big isolated efforts.
In a workshop I gave recently, a woman said: “I just turned off notifications at night and had dinner without my phone. In two weeks I felt calmer and even sleep better”. That's the kind of quiet change that transforms a life from the inside.
I've seen three very frequent mistakes when people try to improve their lives.
Suddenly enthusiasm appears and you decide to exercise daily, meditate, eat healthy, read, keep a journal, learn a language and heal your family history, all at once. Result: fatigue and abandonment.
Your brain gets blocked when it senses too many changes at once. Better little and sustainable.
Social networks can inspire you, but they can also hurt you if you use them to measure your worth. No one posts their doubts, their gray days or their deepest fears, although everyone has them.
Your path is yours. Unique. And that already makes it valuable.
Motivation goes up and down. You can't depend on it. What sustains change is not enthusiasm, it's commitment to small actions even on gray days.
In sessions I often say: “You don't need to feel like it to start, you need to start for the desire to appear”.
When you apply these rules, you not only “feel better”, real changes also occur in your mind and body.
It's not about becoming a perfect person. It's about living with more presence, more truth and more self-love.
I quickly answer some doubts I hear often in sessions and talks.
It's never too late while you're alive. The brain adapts even at advanced ages. I've seen people over sixty transform the way they relate, work and take care of themselves.
Not always, but it helps a lot. You can start alone with these rules. If you feel you repeat painful patterns, can't move forward or your sadness or anxiety are very intense, seeking professional help shows courage, not weakness.
Many people notice small improvements in a few weeks if they apply these ideas daily. Deep changes take months. The important thing is to see yourself as a process, not as a project that must come out perfect.
I want to leave you with a reflection I heard from an oncology patient that marked me forever. He told me: “If I had known everyday life was so valuable, I would have lived it with more attention, even Mondays”.
Maybe today you can start with that: live this day with a bit more presence, a bit less hurry and a bit more love toward yourself and those around you 💫.
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