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How to forgive yourself as you do with others

We forgive others quickly for causing us distress and betrayal, but we forget to offer ourselves that same patience and understanding....
Author: Alegsa
23-04-2024







  1. You deserve to be forgiven
  2. The Art of Forgiving Yourself


In the complex fabric of human relationships, the ability to forgive stands out as one of the noblest and most liberating qualities we can cultivate.

Often, we find ourselves in situations where, almost instinctively, we extend our understanding and forgiveness towards others, recognizing their humanity and the inherent imperfections in each of us.

However, interestingly, when it comes to directing that same compassion towards ourselves, we face a much greater challenge.

Self-compassion and self-forgiveness seem to be skills that, although essential for our emotional and psychological well-being, often elude us or, worse yet, are completely ignored.

Join me on this journey of self-discovery and healing, where we will explore together how to forgive ourselves with the same patience, understanding, and unconditional love that we so generously offer to others. This act of kindness towards oneself can be the first step towards a more fulfilling, balanced, and happy life.


You deserve to be forgiven



Personal reminder: You deserve to be forgiven. Repeat this message as many times as you need, because it is absolutely true.

We often forgive others when they hurt us or let us down, but we frequently forget to offer ourselves that same understanding and patience.

It is common to allow mistakes in others and see them as opportunities for growth, while we are relentless with ourselves, demanding perfection at every step.

But I want to remind you that it is time to let go of that demand for perfection; it has no place on your path to well-being.

Not only do you deserve forgiveness from those around you but also self-forgiveness.

You have the right to forgive yourself for those nights filled with regrettable messages or encounters you would rather forget.

For senseless arguments with those you care about.

For those moments where alcohol was more of an enemy than a friend, harming yourself and possibly others.

For missed job opportunities or important work lost due to poor decisions.

For holding onto expired relationships out of fear of loneliness or rejection of necessary change.

For the times when you undervalued those around you or lied unnecessarily.

All of these actions deserve forgiveness because they are part of being human.

We are fallible creatures, prone to error like any other living being.

We have been taught since childhood that making mistakes is part of learning; only then do we improve our skills and knowledge to avoid falling into the same pitfalls again.

Hence the importance of freeing ourselves from the myth of perfection and integrating our humanity as something natural and necessary for our personal growth.

If you have caused harm at any point, the right thing to do is apologize and strive to improve day by day.

Nevertheless, it is also vital to offer yourself forgiveness for those past slip-ups.

Perhaps some may choose not to grant you their absolution, but remember: the crucial aspect here is you giving yourself permission to move towards who you truly want to become.

We can all make poor decisions under adverse circumstances; yet we deserve understanding and self-forgiveness.

In summary: make mistakes, apologize sincerely both to yourself and others when necessary, learn from the process, and keep moving forward, constantly improving.


The Art of Forgiving Yourself



Allow me to share a story that illuminates the path to self-forgiveness. During a motivational talk, a participant, whom we'll call Carlos, shared his personal struggle with guilt and how it was holding him back in life.

Carlos's story is a powerful lesson on the importance of forgiving ourselves with the same compassion we offer to others.

Carlos had made mistakes in his youth that negatively impacted those close to him. Despite his efforts to make amends, the burden of guilt continued to haunt him day after day. He witnessed others overcoming their faults and being forgiven, but he couldn't grant himself that same forgiveness.

In our sessions, we worked together to unravel the layers of self-judgment and shame that Carlos had accumulated over the years. I asked him to recall times when he had been able to forgive others; we wanted to understand how he felt when releasing resentment and accepting human imperfections.

The key to change for Carlos was learning to see his own mistakes in a different light. Instead of punishing himself endlessly for them, he began to view them as opportunities for learning and personal growth.

I explained: "Forgiving yourself doesn't mean forgetting what happened or downplaying it; it means freeing yourself from unnecessary weight so you can move forward."

I proposed a simple yet profound exercise: writing forgiveness letters to himself from a compassionate perspective. Initially, it felt strange and uncomfortable to him, but with each word, he began to feel the weight of guilt lifting.

Ultimately, Carlos learned something fundamental: forgiving oneself is not a selfish or indulgent act; it's a necessary step towards healing and emotional well-being. This transformation not only improved his relationship with himself but also with those around him.

Carlos's story teaches us that we all deserve compassion, especially from ourselves. If he could find the path to self-care and self-love after years of self-condemnation, you can do it too.

Remember: Forgiving yourself is giving yourself permission to be imperfect and move forward. It's recognizing that while you can't change the past, you have control over how you define yourself today.

If you're struggling with similar feelings, consider adopting practices like forgiveness letters or seek professional support to guide you on your journey to internal forgiveness. The first step is always choosing to look at yourself with kindness and understanding.



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I am Alegsa

I have been writing horoscope and self-help articles professionally for over 20 years.

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