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The difficult process of loving oneself

Self-love is such a difficult process to navigate, not only because it takes time, and patience, and tenderness, but because there is also this shame that seems to grow inside us when we can't find it....
Author: Alegsa
24-03-2023







  1. Discover the meaning of loving yourself: coming home to yourself
  2. Allow yourself forgiveness for your past history.
  3. Respecting oneself is the key to loving oneself
  4. Trust the process and make an investment in yourself.
  5. Observe carefully
  6. Remember: You deserve the same love you give to others.
  7. Why don't you give yourself the love you deserve?

Self-love is a road full of obstacles that requires time, patience and love to walk it.

Sometimes, shame prevents us from finding it.

 In today's society, we are sold the idea that self-love is a matter of fashion, promoted in social networks, advertising and the music we listen to, as if it were something easy to achieve.

 When we can't achieve it or find it difficult, we are overcome with sadness and guilt for not being able to see ourselves as others see us.

All of this can be very confusing.

 The truth is that we have all suffered wounds that have caused us to doubt our own worth, compare ourselves to others and, as a result, turn away from our own souls and hearts.

This is common to human nature.

 To help you in your self-love process, here are some tips that will propel you on your way and encourage you to give yourself the same love you give to others. Because you deserve it, you have always deserved it.


Discover the meaning of loving yourself: coming home to yourself


 In the world we live in, we often fall into the trap of thinking that we must change or modify our personality to be accepted.

 It is of great importance to return to our soul center and reaffirm our self-love.

 If you are struggling to strengthen your relationship with yourself, start by asking yourself who you really are at your core.

 Find out what you are passionate about, what your preferences are and how you want to feel in the world.

 Reflect on the standards that allow you to lead a fulfilling life and eliminate those things you don't want to accept.

Ask yourself who you are when you are alone with yourself, when you are not trying to pretend what you are not, what truly makes you happy and inspires you.

 Although it may feel overwhelming or strange to sit with yourself, it is the first step to knowing yourself and truly embracing yourself.

 When we love others, we want to know and understand the deepest part of their being so we can love them the way they need to be loved.

 As for your relationship with yourself, you also need to know yourself at that level of depth in order to love yourself the way you deserve.

 Always remember that self-love is a fundamental key in the search for happiness and inner harmony.

 Always value yourself and appreciate your authentic qualities and virtues, become your own home and surround yourself with positive energy.


Allow yourself forgiveness for your past history.


 It is all too easy to look at the past and see the things you had to do to survive, to heal, the mistakes you made, the person you were in the past, and let it all make you feel inadequate, that you don't deserve what you want.

 Our past can surround us with feelings of shame, which make us feel less valuable because we see ourselves through the perspective of who we used to be.

 If this is one of the reasons why you find it hard to be gentle with yourself, why you find it hard to take care of yourself, I want to remind you that life is indeed hard.

 There is no perfect way to manage our existence.

 Nothing is as black and white as we think it is.

There is no guidebook on how to be a human being who deals with the courage to simply live, love and make mistakes.

 We have all been versions of ourselves that we would not necessarily approve of today.

 We have all been those beings who suffer, or make bad decisions, or fail to measure up.

 This doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you human.

 So, to love yourself, you must give yourself the opportunity for forgiveness. Forgive yourself for what you had to do to overcome your sadness.

Forgive yourself for how you treated yourself, or allowed yourself to be treated.

Forgive yourself for the ways you didn't fight for what you were building.

Forgive yourself for the ways you fell down.

 When you face everything that happened, not with a desire to change it or with regret, but with tenderness for all that has been and happened, what you cannot change, you allow forgiveness to give you the ability to reframe your story.

 It gives you the opportunity to stop looking at the present through that lens, learn from it and allow it to make you stand up for who you are and who you want to be.

Acceptance is love.


Respecting oneself is the key to loving oneself


 When it comes to loving ourselves, we cannot allow there to be a gap between our true essence and the image we show to the world.

We must be honest with ourselves and never censor ourselves.

 If we hold ourselves back by not speaking our truth, trying to please others, we lose our essence and end up feeling trapped and misunderstood.

 It is important to remember that our true inner person is worthy and beautiful, with no need to make changes to be accepted or loved.

 There is no need to apologize or change, we just need to be true to ourselves and do the things that make us happy and resonate with our soul without asking permission from anyone.

 By respecting ourselves, we gain the respect and admiration of others without having to edit or censor our true essence.

Achieving that freedom is life-changing.

 It allows us to be true to ourselves, acting without a mask and feeling proud of who we really are.

 Therefore, maintaining our inner power and having faith in ourselves will lead to a more fulfilling and happier life.


Trust the process and make an investment in yourself.


 As a human being, you are constantly learning and growing.

 You possess skills, talents and a unique beauty that belongs only to you.

 But it is also true that you have work to do, aspects of you that need to be healed and accepted.

 Life will always present these challenges, so it is important to love your current situation, even if it is not ideal.

You must have compassion for yourself and trust the process.

 When you trust the process, you understand that this path that leads you back to yourself, to the person you want to be, is a valuable investment in yourself.

 Investing in yourself is like planting seeds that will eventually blossom, even though it may take time.

 It involves being committed to yourself, doing the hard work and being present with who you are.

 To show up for yourself right now, you must ask yourself what you can do to be proud of yourself in the future.

 Sometimes, this may mean taking care of your health, even if you don't feel like it.

 Other times, it may mean reducing the time you spend on social media to get a clearer picture of your goals.

It's important to do things that would be easily ignored, because showing up for yourself in this way is a manifestation of self-love.

 This also involves having compassion for yourself during the healing process, even when it hurts.

 Embracing who you are, and going deep inside yourself to face your traumas and let go of what no longer serves you.

 Being compassionate with yourself and loving yourself, especially when it's not easy, is one of the best ways to invest in yourself.


Observe carefully


 Observe carefully everything that brings you back to your being.

 Those elements that bring you happiness and make you feel alive.

Ask yourself questions - what is the happiness that brings you?

Who are you at your best with?

What activity makes you feel good?

When was the last time you felt fullness and freedom, without prejudice or fear?

When was the last time your heart beat with clarity, filling you with inspiration and energy to love yourself?

What created that beauty in your life? Go after it.

Fill your life with those elements and those people.

 Be sure to keep track of everything that makes you feel deeply and deeply about the goodness in your life.

 But also pay attention to the opposite.

Who makes you doubt yourself? Who makes you feel hard to love?

What activity in your life frustrates you or makes you feel like you're not good enough?

What robs you of joy and the ability to feel loved as well as others?


Isolate yourself from those things. Get away from them.

 Please, no matter how hard it costs you, be honest with yourself about what hurts you, what makes you feel small, what is no longer useful, and have the courage to walk away.

 This change will empower you and transform your life, creating a space to discover what ignites your soul, what fills you with self-love and love for life.


Remember: You deserve the same love you give to others.


 Reflect on the many ways in which you demonstrate your love for others: the ways in which you forgive them, celebrate them, and devote your time and energy to them. Recognize how you strive to be a good friend, a trustworthy and compassionate human being.

 Recognize how you encourage the people in your life, how you forgive them for their mistakes, how you encourage them to accept their imperfections, and how you show them how much you love them not only in their moments of triumph, but also when they are going through difficulties.

Remember all the ways you love unconditionally, without expecting anything in return, and how you share that love with everyone around you.

 Recognize how tender, patient, forgiving and kind you are with those you care about.

 Keep in mind that you deserve the love you give, so don't apologize for loving and caring for yourself as much as you care for others.


Why don't you give yourself the love you deserve?


 Often, we focus so much on others that we forget about ourselves.

We love unconditionally and forgive others for their mistakes, but rarely do the same for ourselves.

 We speak harshly to each other and don't give each other the love we deserve.

 It is important to remember that we are also deserving of love, forgiveness, grace, kindness and tenderness.

 We can be our own shelters and homes, and care for and love ourselves.

 However, sometimes we convince ourselves that we don't deserve these things.

Therefore, it is important to remember that we are worthy of the love we give to others. It's time to reverse that belief in ourselves and recognize our own worth. It's time to show ourselves the same love and care that we give to others.



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I am Alegsa

I have been writing horoscope and self-help articles professionally for over 20 years.


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