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The frustration of no one telling us the truth candidly

Do you feel like no one is honest with you? Do you think they only tell you what you want to hear? How to encourage people to speak to you with truth and frankness....
Author: Patricia Alegsa
12-05-2024 15:48







  1. How does lack of frankness impact us?
  2. Why do people lack frankness?
  3. Can I do something to encourage honesty?
  4. Develop better communication skills
  5. Avoid Toxic People
  6. If your partner is the one not being honest with you
  7. Build a world where truth prevails


How difficult modern life has become when it comes to relationships between people!

Do you feel frustrated because you never seem to know if people are sincere with you?

No matter the medium: it can be from the local news, which tells you the news they choose and, many times, with political or economic intentions behind it.

Social media, where you don't know if the other person is speaking to you sincerely or if all they are interested in is selling you something (which is not wrong, it's a business, but many times they do it by deceiving you).

Even friends, are they with you only out of interest? They think something you do is wrong, but they don't tell you to avoid discomfort or to be politically correct.

Even worse! If those who are not being sincere are your own family members or your partner.

All these scenarios, even though they may seem very different from each other, have one thing in common: frankness or, in any case, lack of frankness.

Lack of frankness? Well, basically not being frank is not telling the truth when speaking or through actions.

"The uncertainty and doubt that arise from not knowing if we are being told the complete truth, can be sources of anxiety or frustration," said a psychology professor of mine. I noted this in my study notes and could never forget it.




How does lack of frankness impact us?




Today, where information flows with such freedom, communication may seem more accessible than ever, but paradoxically, we face a distressing reality: the difficulty of finding someone who speaks to us with genuine honesty.

This lack of sincerity not only permeates our daily interactions, but also deeply influences our mental and emotional health.

Truth, although sometimes painful, is essential for building authentic relationships and making informed decisions.

Lack of frankness can lead us to question our perception of reality, affecting our self-esteem and creating a context in which distrust flourishes.

The emotional impact of feeling repeatedly disappointed by the people we trust can erode our ability to trust, not only in others, but in our own perceptions and decisions.

Meanwhile, I suggest you to schedule this article on how to better manage our emotions, if this is your case, it will help you:

Discover 11 strategies to successfully manage your emotions



Why do people lack frankness?




1. Many times, people are afraid of conflict:

Many individuals avoid being straightforward out of fear of creating conflict or rejection.

The possibility of hurting someone's feelings or facing an adverse reaction can lead them to choose silence or soften their truths.

2. They want to preserve a certain social image:
We live in a society that values harmony and social acceptance, where political correctness is the norm.

Speaking the truth, especially when it's not positive, can be seen as a risk to the image someone projects within their social circle.

For this reason, individuals often choose to maintain appearances rather than expose their true thoughts.

3. Lack of communication skills:

This is both an educational and psychological issue. Not everyone has the necessary skills to communicate truth effectively.

Frankness requires not only courage but also tact and sensitivity.

Lack of training or experience in assertive communication can result in suppressing the truth or, at the opposite extreme, delivering it in a hurtful manner.




Can I do something to encourage honesty?




Well... for your family circle, friends, and acquaintances, starting by being frank and sincere is an excellent step.

For example, a few years ago, before I graduated as a psychologist, I had trouble sleeping well for a long time. This was affecting my personal life a lot, because I was tired all day, just thinking about sleeping.

Once I mentioned to a gym mate (not a family member, not a friend, just a gym mate) how bad I was feeling because I couldn't rest properly.

She not only gave me advice, she emotionally opened up to me and also told me about some sleep problems she had.

That night I slept like I hadn't slept in a long time: could there be a relationship between being honest with a stranger and sleeping so well that same night?

Now, as an expert psychologist, I know the answer: yes, there is a connection between those two seemingly unrelated events.

Basically, when you talk to someone about a psychological problem, you are starting to understand and accept it.

In this specific case, if you have the same problem, I suggest you read this article I recently wrote on how I overcame my sleep problems:How I overcame sleep problems in 3 months

Ultimately, returning to the topic we discussed in the article, this example teaches us that you should promote an atmosphere of openness, especially with unexpected people who are not seeking anything from us. In my case, it was a gym mate.

Creating an environment where honesty is encouraged and handled with care can facilitate frankness.

This can start in small communities like family, close friends, or work teams, where members feel safe to express their thoughts and feelings.

I suggest you read this article where I specifically talk about this:



Develop better communication skills




Training in assertive and nonviolent communication techniques can be key to learning how to express truth without causing harm.

This includes knowing how to give constructive feedback, how to actively listen, and how to manage emotions during difficult conversations.
Modeling frankness through one's own behavior is another effective way to promote it. Being transparent about our own mistakes, limitations, and truths can help others feel more comfortable to do the same.

I discuss this topic in this article that I recommend you save to read later:

Seven steps to make new friends and strengthen old ones


Avoid Toxic People




We are surrounded by toxic people, don't you notice it? Who do you think writes all those malicious comments you read on social media?

It could be a family member, your partner, a friend of yours... you can never know, because they hide behind the anonymity of social media.

Unfortunately, many of these people are also toxic in interpersonal relationships in real life. Sometimes, they are subtly toxic, we don't notice it, but the evidence is right there.

I wrote an article that may interest you if you believe you are surrounded by toxic people and how you could identify them:

Should I distance myself from someone?: 6 steps to distance yourself from toxic people


If your partner is the one not being honest with you




In many cases, you may have doubts about your own partner, is he being honest with you?, is there something he's not telling you?

Your partner should be one of the people you feel most comfortable with in life, you can't live thinking that he's not being sincere with you.

Seeking transparent and honest dialogue is undoubtedly a challenging but necessary path within any healthy relationship.

I wrote this article that will interest you if you believe this is your problem...

Discover the 8 keys to having a healthy romantic relationship




Build a world where truth prevails




Building a world where truth prevails requires conscious efforts from all individuals involved. Only then can we hope to develop deeper and more satisfying relationships, and in turn, a fairer and more understanding society.

The frustration of no one telling us the truth frankly is not just an interpersonal problem, it is a collective challenge that we must face with courage, understanding, and above all, a lot of patience and perseverance.

Authenticity and clarity in our interactions not only enrich us personally, but also contribute to the general well-being, fostering a social context in which we can all feel more understood, supported, and valued.

The reality is that people lie, often are not sincere, and we must accept that the world is like this.

There are things we cannot control, and you will never be happy or feel at ease if you do not accept this: there are truthful people, there are deceitful people, and there are people who are sometimes truthful and sometimes not.

The ideal is to relax, not make a problem out of something you cannot control...

I suggest you continue reading this article:

Are you struggling to find inner happiness? Read this



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I have been writing horoscope and self-help articles professionally for over 20 years.

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