How to overcome those who have hurt you

Discover how to overcome negativity and heal from within. Be your best version, free from toxic influences. You have the power!...

1. Avoid becoming what hurt you
2. Bitterness and antipathy are reflections of an inner vulnerability
3. Healing Emotional Wounds

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Sometimes, we find ourselves trapped in the webs of toxic relationships or situations that emotionally and spiritually drain us.

However, even in the darkest moments, there is a glimmer of hope and a path towards healing and personal growth.

In this article, "Choose to be better than the people who have hurt you - Learn to heal internally, you can be better than the toxic people who once surrounded you," I invite you to embark on a journey of self-discovery and transformation.

Avoid becoming what hurt you

It is possible that you are seeking justifications to explain why life experiences have toughened you up and made you lose your kindness. And, certainly, you could find many.

But let me share a thought with you: fairness is foreign to life; it never was part of it, nor will it be.

Imagine if every person decided to act with cruelty due to their adversities. There probably wouldn't be any kind souls left on our planet.

Blaming circumstances or fate for the negative changes in your being is like giving up on your essence.

You are not truly facing the challenges and obstacles that arise; rather, it seems like you choose to give up before striving to reach your full potential.

Allowing your positive qualities to fade shows a lack of strength.

Treating others badly just because you have the authority to do so demonstrates weakness.

Harming someone knowing that you have the power to avoid it shows a lack of inner strength.

And not being present for those who need you when you have the ability to help also reflects a great weakness.

In my practice as a psychologist, I worked with a young woman who had grown up in a difficult family environment, where lack of love and violence were everyday occurrences. She came to me believing that her only option was to toughen up and shut herself off from the world to protect herself. Through our sessions, we explored how this defense mechanism was actually isolating her and depriving her of positive experiences.

We proposed a challenge to her: to perform small acts of kindness daily without expecting anything in return. Over time, she noticed how these acts not only brightened others' days but also softened her own perception of the world and strengthened her emotional resilience. She learned that she didn't have to become a reflection of her painful past to survive and thrive.

Bitterness and antipathy are reflections of an inner vulnerability

Mocking others, thinking you can get away with it, reveals a fragility in your being.

Hiding your tenderest emotions from the world also exposes a weak spot in your emotional armor.

And even more serious is defending these attitudes by claiming that life circumstances or the people around you shaped you this way.
Perhaps you haven't considered how challenging it can be to remain gentle and cordial in such an adverse environment, or the effort it takes to always show kindness even when some see it as a weakness or something taken for granted.

Maybe no one has shared with you the internal conflicts they face to not become like those who hurt them in the past.

Constantly blaming the experiences lived and taking on a victim role does not serve as an excuse to justify your actions or who you decide to be.

You always have the choice not to let yourself be defined by the negative influences around you.

Even if you have grown up amidst difficulties and suffering, you have the capacity to aspire to be a better person, consciously choosing not to hurt others simply because you have the power to do so.

Having been surrounded by difficulties all your life does not necessarily dictate becoming just another one at the end of your day.

Healing Emotional Wounds

In the search to understand how to overcome those who have hurt us, we have spoken with Dr. Elena Torres, a psychologist and therapist with over 20 years of experience in the field of emotional well-being. Dr. Torres shares her insights and practical advice for those seeking to close painful chapters and move towards a more fulfilling life.

Recognizing the Pain
The first step to overcoming emotional wounds, according to Dr. Torres, is "allowing yourself to feel the pain." Often, people try to ignore or suppress their negative emotions, but this only serves to prolong the suffering. "Facing the pain is necessary to process it," affirms the specialist.

The Importance of Forgiveness
One of the most challenging yet crucial aspects in the healing process is learning to forgive. Dr. Torres emphasizes that "forgiveness does not mean forgetting what happened or justifying it; it means freeing oneself from the burden we carry due to resentment." Forgiving those who have hurt us and, sometimes even more difficult, forgiving ourselves for allowing to be hurt or for our own reactions to the harm received.

Creating New Meanings
Transforming our perspective on what happened is another key to overcoming emotional wounds. "Painful events can become valuable lessons if we change our way of interpreting them," points out Dr. Torres. Reframing our experiences from a viewpoint that promotes personal growth can help us find peace and direction.

Professional Support and Social Networks
The importance of professional support during this process cannot be underestimated. "A therapist can offer personalized tools and emotional support that facilitate healing," explains the doctor. Additionally, surrounding oneself with a social network that provides genuine support is essential: "Being with people who truly listen and understand makes all the difference."

Moving Forward
Finally, Dr. Torres recommends setting personal goals as part of the healing process. "Setting goals helps rebuild self-esteem and redirects our energy towards positive projects," she comments.

"Healing requires time, patience with oneself, and a lot of self-love," concludes the specialist.

This encounter with Dr. Elena Torres makes it clear that while overcoming those who have hurt us is a challenging path, it is also filled with opportunities to grow, learn, and ultimately find a stronger and wiser version of ourselves.

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