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5 reasons why you should always forgive but never forget

They say that if you forgive and forget, you will live a happier life. Here is a list of five reasons to go through life forgiving but never forgetting.... , 2020-05-24





They say that if you forgive and forget, you will live a happier life. And to some extent, it is true, the air around you becomes lighter and less stifling, like thunder shaking off the summer heat so that the skies can cool the earth. You feel you can finally move forward, now free from the overwhelming weight of lies, pain, false words and heavy hearts.

I seem to have held to this affirmation growing up, often temporarily dismissing moments of anger with typical children's distractions. I forgive you for taking the last biscuit from my snack bag at recess or stealing my homework to copy my hours of hard work in a matter of seconds. I forgive you for pulling my hair to keep me from turning down the TV and for ruining the perfect snow-covered path made by that last sled ride down the hill in the front yard. I maintained this mentality, purely by instinct. I knew, without knowing it, that the best way to move on was to forgive but never completely forget.
I
still remember these memories as if they were yesterday. They are forever a part of my past, and in each case, no matter how traumatic they were at the time, they have the uncanny ability to make me feel content. They have shaped me. They are part of who I am. Forgive and don't forget... that's the real way to let go.

Here is a list of five reasons to go through life forgiving but never forgetting. When it comes down to it, we are all imperfect souls. Acknowledging imperfections is what makes life so much more perfect in the end.

1. You learn from your past

I'm sure you grew up hearing: "You learn from your mistakes". It's the common notion that when you make a mistake, you admit it, deal with the consequences, and end up ultimately learning and focusing on never making that same mistake again. We all make mistakes in life for this reason, to grow. So when you cheat on a science test, talk about another girl behind her back, or simply don't risk something you later regret, in the end you must forgive yourself - after the necessary consequences, of course - and never completely forget it. Driven back into the dark recesses of your mind, memories reappear when you need them most, providing a shadowy guardian angel to defend you from falling into similar negative patterns.

2. Everything happens for a reason

Life knows its plan for you, whether you want to believe it or not. Each day has a mind of its own, but when all is said and done, when the dust settles and the sun sets, you always seem to find your way home. Even if it doesn't feel like it now, I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. Did it break your heart? It was for a reason. Did you get fired? It was for a reason. Every little bit of every day is one step closer to where you need to be, even if that place seems a little murky at the time. The waters will clear and the light won't go out. So drive slowly over those bumps in the road, laugh at your hiccups that won't go away, and fearlessly face the unexpected twists and turns life throws at you, bringing tears to your eyes. One day you will look back and it will all make sense. The first step is acceptance, and acceptance only begins with letting go.

3. You can't force things out of your mind.

The mind is very powerful. Usually, when something traumatic or out of the ordinary happens, the mind fixates on this memory, whether it is good or completely and utterly shameful. Like that time I thought I was cool enough to run faster than a treadmill, I wasn't, and I still feel the burn of the carpet burning my knees like it was yesterday. If the event left any kind of impression, it's there to stay. You just learn to look back and smile. So how do you expect to forget anything worth forgiving? Anything worth forgiving must have had some importance in your life in the first place, and that right there is reason enough not to forget.

4. Sometimes you have to go back to move forward

My boyfriend (now fiancé) once said this to me while I was looking for rebuttals to my fears about getting back together. After more than a year of healing from my vulnerable, completely in love, shattered college girl
heart on that Sunday morning in November, I was finally starting to feel whole again, like me, ready to move on and take on the world like I always try to do in the all-too-short hours of the day. And then, right on cue, this happened. I should have seen it coming. We graduated, both got jobs in the same city, and ended up living in the same apartment complex, all while trying to be friends and enjoy each other's company without that giant third wheel elephant in the room that kept popping up. I knew I was fighting my feelings, but only to keep them from hurting me. However, one night, sitting on the edge of his bed, listening to my fears and feelings of defeat as I contemplated throwing away everything I had overcome, he said something that really struck a chord in my heart. "Sometimes you have to go back in order to go forward." His words temporarily froze me in a moment when it was hopeless, because he was right. You see, forgiveness is making peace with the past in the hope of moving forward with a new and better outlook on life, no matter how scary it may seem. You can never let go of something until you accept it in some way, shape or form, accept it as part of your DNA, and finally forgive.

5. It allows you to be the bigger personEven
if it still hurts, even if it clearly wasn't your fault, making the first move towards friendship is always applauded. That's why when someone asks for forgiveness, don't question it - forgive them. Forgiving someone is the simple act of acknowledging that we are only human and that we all make mistakes. We all have regrets and burdens to bear, so why not do yourself and the person at fault a favour and lighten the load a little? Both anger and guilt can only be a burden to you. Forgiving doesn't mean you are a pushover, it simply means you move on and are the bigger person, this time with a little more wisdom up your sleeve.






I am Alegsa

I have been writing horoscope and self-help articles professionally for over 20 years.