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If you want to be truly happy, you must first become comfortable with sadness.

Life is regularly irregular; ultimately, if we felt happiness all the time, nothing would change.... , 2020-05-24

Life is regularly irregular, and while that's a contradiction in itself, it's one thing you can always count on. No one person is happy all the time, and if the world were constantly one big ball of happiness, fuck, it would be boring.

Growing up, my parents always taught me to see the balances of life as a blessing. They taught me that nothing in life will ever stay the same, and that life is a constant roller coaster with depressing
highs and depressing
lows. I was taught that, in reality, sometimes we need to appreciate sadness in order to appreciate happiness. We have to go to the horrible depths of our minds and feel nothing but despair to really appreciate how good it feels when we feel on top of the world.

For me, I'm imagining those days when I'm driving around in my car with my best friends and we're singing along to some basic top songs with the warm winds brushing our faces. It's in those moments where I realise the true magnitude of my happiness, and I like to savour those moments and look back on them fondly when I feel like a piece of shit.

Why is that? Because we all have those days where we spill coffee on our clean work shirt, stub our toe at the end of the bed, AND then have to listen to our colleague Janice ramble on about her new collection of dinner plates. It's on shitty days where we feel angry, sad, frustrated and confused that sadness creeps into the pit of our stomach to make us doubt whether we're really happy.

Ultimately, if we felt happiness all the time, nothing would change. We would not have those moments when we realise that something is not right for us, and we need to forge a new path. Maybe if you didn't experience difficulties, you wouldn't have strived for something divergent and found your partner, your new passion, or a skill you never knew you had. Maybe you wouldn't be screaming at the top of your lungs on a warm sunny day to a naughty nineties playlist with your best friends.

I say, welcome your sadness (and call her Janice), open the door; invite her in for a nasty cup of tea. Understand why you feel this way, if it's just a bad day. Take that notion for what it is: just a bad day. If it's a feeling that is ongoing and you need to provoke some action, think about what it takes to make a change in your life or ride the wave and know that it will pass.

Once you have mastered the movement of being OK and maybe even a little comfortable with being sad at times, you will be less frightened by this emotion. Eventually, instead of relying on happiness being a new promotion or new wheels to get around, it will be the day you make a morning coffee and everything goes according to plan. It will be the day you wake up and make your bed with your little toe still perfectly intact, and appreciate the fact that Janice actually wants to have a conversation with you about her latest limited edition floral dinner plate instead of ignoring you in the hallway.

Because even though some days you may be screeching face-first down the roller coaster ramp we call life, and you may be screaming at the top of your lungs and holding on for dear life, don't forget that you're about to go back up that ramp. And for a few moments, you will appreciate the view from the top and how beautiful it is.

Knowing what you know now, will you face the next descent holding on, resisting, or will you let go and invite the unknown, even if you're a little scared?

I am Alegsa

I have been writing horoscope and self-help articles professionally for over 20 years.

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