Avoiding self-sabotaging behaviors

1. Self-sabotage: an obstacle on our way to success
2. Working hard to impress others can lead to self-destruction
3. Self-sabotage: a self-imposed barrier to success
4. We are living lives we did not design
5. Take control of the situation
6. Discovering the origin of fear

One of the fundamental human needs, in addition to food, water, air and shelter, is the need to feel loved.

 We all crave some form or manifestation of love in our lives.

 What we often forget, however, is that we need love primarily from ourselves.

Our minds and hearts need us to be our best confidant before anything else.

 However, more often than not, we are not our most loved person, but rather we become our own worst enemy.

 This is where self-sabotaging behaviors arise from.

 The cause of all self-destructive actions is a lack of self-love or a lack of self-esteem.

 These inconvenient practices can appear in different forms.

Avoiding making commitments in a relationship, procrastinating on tasks, or turning to food, drugs or alcohol for reassurance are signs of self-boycotting.

 Consequently, simply saying "I love myself" in front of the mirror will not magically resolve these self-sabotaging habits.

Self-sabotage: an obstacle on our way to success

 Often, without even realizing it, it is we ourselves who put impediments in our path to success.

 Our own behaviors and actions can be the cause of our failure.

 Imagine a man who is a natural runner, an exceptional athlete.

 With a lot of effort and practice, he becomes a skilled sprinter.

 However, on the day of the competition, when he can demonstrate his full potential and achieve victory, the fear of failure paralyzes him and instead of running with all his might, he begins to create obstacles in his own way.

 He places high, strong barriers that are difficult to jump over.

 This is a classic example of self-sabotage.

In all self-sabotaging behaviors, there is a common denominator: lack of self-confidence and fear of being hurt.

 Fear of rejection, criticism and being judged as inadequate can lead a person to impede his or her own growth and progress.

 If you fear that your partner will hurt you and leave you, you may break up with them instead of giving the relationship a real chance. The logic behind this decision is that you are protecting yourself from future pain.

 It is important to recognize that self-sabotage can be a manifestation of our insecurities and fears, and that by doing so we are hindering our own path to success.

 Let us learn to trust ourselves, to be courageous and to not fear failure, because that is the only way we will be able to reach our goals and achieve the success we desire.

Working hard to impress others can lead to self-destruction

 Self-destruction through self-sabotage can be caused by the need to impress others.

 Some strive for attention and admiration from those they admire, even if it means changing and losing themselves in the process.

 It is a self-destructive behavior that ignores the love others have for them as they are, instead focusing on pleasing others.

This mentality can also impede change.

 Sometimes, individuals see themselves as victims of the situation and life, and actively resist any change that might help.

 In these cases, the person chooses to walk away from the problem and denies the existence of possible solutions.

 Their behavior indicates that they are in a state of constant denial.

 On the other hand, there are people who simply do not know what they want to do with their lives.

This insecurity is neither rare nor abnormal.

 In general, most of us deal with this type of uncertainty by looking within ourselves, setting goals and striving to achieve them.

 But those who suffer from self-sabotage may need someone else to guide them and dictate their decisions.

 They may follow goals and plans set by others, or even expect someone else to do the work that will lead them to the life they desire, without making a real personal effort.

By doing this, they limit themselves and limit their potential.

 The main reason behind this is usually fear of failure and rejection.

 They prefer to avoid responsibility for their own decisions and let others take control.

 What they don't realize is that this self-defeating mentality prevents them from reaching their full potential, stifling their creativity, innovation and skills.

 Being aware of this behavior is crucial to overcoming it and improving quality of life.

Self-sabotage: a self-imposed barrier to success

 Self-sabotage is a self-imposed barrier that prevents many people from reaching their potential.

Why do some people truncate their chances of success? Many times, it is simply because of fear of the possible consequences of their actions.

 According to a popular reflection, how could we move an object if we cannot see it? In the case of those who self-sabotage, they themselves are that obstacle.

 One of the causes of this phenomenon is found in childhood, when the opinions of our closest family and friends shape our perception of ourselves.

 As we grow up, these people are no longer present, but the insecurities they sowed stay with us.

 We speak to ourselves with their critical voices, berating ourselves for mistakes and measuring our actions by possible failure, leading us to behave in self-destructive ways.

Phrases such as "you are not worthy" or "you don't have the necessary ability" become engraved in our minds and shape our thoughts until they become limiting beliefs.

 Even if we have exceptional talent or abilities, these beliefs prevent us from reaching our full potential.

 You can be the best painter in your class, the most gifted singer in your choir or the sports expert in your group of friends, but if you don't dare to expose yourself, no one will know your abilities and your talent will remain in the shadows.

We are living lives we did not design

 It is common that as human beings, we move away from our truths and values and end up living lives that we have not designed.

It is true that not everything in life is under our control, but what is in our hands we do not always take advantage of.

 We let the decisions, choices and opinions of others have a great impact on our lives, to the point of burying our true essence deep within ourselves.

 After so much time away from our true selves, we lose touch with our values, likes, dislikes and potential.

 When facing our inner self, we may feel fear and insecurity, because it is as if we were facing a stranger. That is why familiarizing ourselves with our core values and what defines us, big or small, will help us not to take the path of self-sabotage.

 It is common to see examples of self-defeating behaviors in ourselves and in the people we love.

At times, consciously and unconsciously, we all hinder ourselves in some way.

 However, the good news is that these ideas are reversible.

 There is no instantaneous change that will happen with a snap of the fingers, it is a process that will require time and effort on your part.

 Small bursts of enthusiasm will not be enough to bring about a permanent change in your thinking.

 The change resulting from short periods of focus will only be temporary and will take you back to your old patterns of behavior.

 The first thing to keep in mind is that change will not happen overnight.

 It will require time and genuine effort to achieve lasting change.

 To begin, you must build the proper mindset to approach the issue.

 Repeat to yourself that feelings of self-sabotage are common and rectifiable.

 Try to identify the action or behavior that is self-corruptive.

 Look for the reasons that may be driving you to react in this way.

Are you afraid of failing, making mistakes, receiving criticism, or getting hurt? What drives you to take actions that inhibit yourself?

Take control of the situation

 Once you have identified the root cause of the problem, it is time to take control of the situation. You should write down your reasons why you act in a certain way.

It is important to recognize the different ways in which these reasons influence your life.

 For example, you may be having trust issues in your relationships, either with your partner or with your family.

 Perhaps you also have difficulty delegating tasks or sharing responsibilities.

 You need to identify the areas of your life where these fundamental reasons are affecting your relationships and the lives of the people around you.

 Think about how to handle each of these areas individually.

 A good start might be to listen to what your partner or family has to say.

 By understanding that they are confiding their confidences to you, you will feel less inclined to lose that confidence and begin to trust them.

 Many people turn to food, drugs, alcohol or tobacco as a way to distract and calm themselves.

But what exactly do they need to calm themselves down from? What exactly does a numbing episode require to get them through it? What are they running from? What are they hiding from? Or perhaps, what are they afraid of?

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