8 valuable lessons that therapy taught me

Discover valuable lessons from my experience in psychological therapy: tips that will transform your life. Don't miss it!...

1. 1. Understanding the difference between setting boundaries and building walls
2. 2. Showing yourself as you are is a strength.
3. 3. The Challenge of Giving Unconditional Love
4. 4. The importance of recognizing the validity of our pain, without comparisons
5. 5. Balance your attention between positive and negative emotions, without ignoring them.
6. 6. Success in therapy is nurtured by your personal effort.
7. 7. The essence of true love lies in its freedom, while the foundation of relationships lies in trust and setting
8. 8. Navigating the Changing Waters of Grief

In the winding journey towards self-awareness and emotional healing, psychological therapy stands as a transformative tool, capable of illuminating the most hidden corners of our being, offering valuable lessons to navigate the complexities of life.

Throughout my career as a psychologist and counselor in the vast universe of astrology, the zodiac, and interpersonal relationships, I have witnessed and been part of countless stories of growth, self-love, and emotional reunions that have marked a before and after in the lives of many.

Get ready for a revealing journey that will change your perception of yourself and the world around you!

1. Understanding the difference between setting boundaries and building walls

Creating boundaries is essential for a balanced life, serving as a guide for what we consider acceptable or unacceptable in our behavior.

By defining our boundaries, we promote our well-being and enrich our connections with others.

While it may initially be frightening to define these personal spaces, true souls will respect and understand their value.

In contrast to boundaries, walls arise as a defense mechanism against previous emotional wounds.

Although erecting barriers may seem like a refuge initially, it eventually becomes an obstacle.

These barriers not only isolate us from the outside world but also confine us, inhibiting our personal growth and ability to face our past experiences.

Addressing trauma requires time and space to process it properly; thus, building walls around these experiences proves counterproductive.

The longer the wall remains intact, the greater the challenge to tear it down.

2. Showing yourself as you are is a strength.

Facing vulnerability may seem like a challenge, as it exposes us to possible emotional wounds. However, if we avoid being vulnerable out of fear of adverse outcomes, we are not only denying ourselves the opportunity to experience more intimate and meaningful connections with others, but also limiting ourselves.

By allowing ourselves to be open and vulnerable, we enrich our lives with stronger and truer relationships.

This also reinforces our belief in our own ability to overcome obstacles.

While it is true that vulnerability can lead to pain, it is also true that valuable lessons and unexpected benefits can be derived from it.

Avoiding vulnerability hinders our personal growth and learning.

Rejecting our need to be vulnerable means depriving our loved ones of the opportunity to offer their support.
When we shut them out during our most emotional moments, we convey a lack of confidence in their ability to handle our feelings delicately.

It is completely valid to feel what we feel; expressing our emotions to those we trust and value is essential.

3. The Challenge of Giving Unconditional Love

Sometimes, it is difficult to give our love to someone whose self-recognition and internal qualities are unknown to us.

We want our loved ones to see their value from our perspective, we hope they discover their potential through the gaze we offer them.

We get caught up in the fantasy that by showing them love incessantly, they will learn to love themselves as we already do.
However, this rarely becomes a reality.

When a person is trapped in negative thoughts about themselves, the affection they receive from the outside is not enough to change their situation.

The only path to self-discovery and self-love is to confront and heal the wounds and falsehoods that have made them believe they are unworthy of love.

It is only then that they can embrace a genuine feeling of affection for themselves.

Until they find that internal love, they will remain skeptical of being loved purely without hidden agendas.
Therefore, loving unconditionally involves fully accepting them as they are, avoiding any critical judgment and allowing them to express themselves freely.

4. The importance of recognizing the validity of our pain, without comparisons

It is essential to keep in mind that comparisons with others are not necessary.

Each individual walks their own path, nourished by their unique experiences and capabilities, making comparisons inaccurate.

At times, when we encounter someone whose story is marked by intense adversities, we may tend to undervalue our own internal struggles, believing they lack significance in comparison. We might mistakenly think we have no right to feel affected by certain events in the face of more visible external pain.

However, it is crucial to acknowledge the reality of our own suffering regardless of how it measures up against others'. If it has impacted our existence and caused us pain, then our experience deserves validation.

Recognizing the legitimacy of our pain provides us with the opportunity to consciously address it, understand it better, and learn to evolve alongside it.

Therefore, we must avoid downplaying our internal conflicts; instead, it is vital to accept and confront them in order to transcend them.

5. Balance your attention between positive and negative emotions, without ignoring them.

"Act as if everything is fine, until it is" is a common phrase that many have heard.

We are often taught to hide our feelings of sadness or anger, pretending that they are not there in the hope that they will simply disappear.

The misconception that recognizing our emotions instead of suppressing them is wrong has been promoted.

By not allowing ourselves to experience our true emotions, whether positive or negative, we lose the opportunity to understand them and discover their causes.

Emotions flow naturally like the waves of the sea.
If we allow ourselves to be carried by these waves at their peak, we will find the strength to continue when the intensity decreases.

On the other hand, if we resist this emotional current, we will exhaust our strength before being able to recover from the challenge.

It is not advisable to obsess over adverse feelings; however, we should not evade or fight them either.

By accepting and living our emotions as they arise, we will be able to process them properly and move towards our growth.

6. Success in therapy is nurtured by your personal effort.

The effectiveness of therapy, as in other aspects of our existence, is closely linked to how much effort and dedication we put into it.

It is not enough to just show up for appointments, share our experiences with the specialist, follow their guidance, and then leave it all behind until the next meeting.

It is similar to attending school classes without taking notes or reviewing what was learned, expecting to get excellent grades without the necessary effort.

By diligently applying the beneficial techniques and skills that our therapeutic guide teaches us to incorporate into our daily lives, we will see a significant change. The results will be much more abundant if we take an active and committed role during our therapeutic process.

7. The essence of true love lies in its freedom, while the foundation of relationships lies in trust and setting boundaries

We often find it complex to distinguish between the concept of love and the dynamics of relationships.

As individuals, we have a natural inclination to equate our loving feelings towards others, whether in romantic, familial, or close friendships.

However, although our love for others should be unconditional, it is crucial to implement boundaries and honor individual autonomy to cultivate a balanced relationship.

Genuine love flows freely without conditions; yet, for a relationship to thrive healthily, it needs to be grounded on pillars of mutual trust and clearly defined boundaries respected by both parties involved.

When these boundaries are overlooked within the bond, it is possible to maintain affection towards that person while taking a step back to preserve one's own and the other's emotional well-being.

8. Navigating the Changing Waters of Grief

The human mind is built to decode and organize the information it receives, trying to find clear patterns and sequences. However, our emotions do not always follow this structured logic.

This often leads to a clash between the logical and the emotional.

Facing difficult emotions makes us wish to set a specific date to overcome these feelings.
But pain does not adhere to such temporal boundaries.

During grieving, just when we think we are making progress, we may encounter days or even months where it seems like we are regressing. This is not truly a step back; it is simply the unpredictable nature of grief taking its course.

Trying to analyze it only makes it more enigmatic.

Therefore, embracing our emotions without resistance, aware that they will eventually cease even though they may seem overwhelming now, is our best strategy.

As we journey through this grieving process, we begin to experience brief periods of serenity that offer us a necessary respite.

However, emotional waves may resurface unexpectedly.

In those momentary oases of peace, it is crucial to remind ourselves that the day will come when our well-being will bloom again.

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