It's OK to feel defeated even if everyone tells you to stay positive.

Here's a groundbreaking truth: Telling someone to stay positive doesn't magically fix everything.... , 2020-05-24

Here's a groundbreaking truth: Telling someone to stay positive doesn't magically fix everything.

Telling someone to look on the bright side will not repair the trauma and distress they may be experiencing.

And telling someone to get over it will not get them over it at all, despite their conviction.

It is beautiful and perfectly fine to be optimistic and bright, in fact, it is essential to living a life full of peace and happiness. But that doesn't take away from the fact that we will still go through times that will leave us exasperated and times that will make us feel scared and insecure and fearful.

Life is full of moments we can never expect.

I used to believe that maybe bad things happen in threes, as if I could predict these events by counting on my fingers. But that's not true. Bad things will happen in twos, or tens, or they won't happen until after a three-month streak where you suddenly get hit by something bad over and over again.

We can learn to control our negative emotions and not let them flare up in anger, but we cannot wish them away. We cannot dismiss them from our emotional palette. Because negative emotions are part of what makes us human.

Our lives are forever going to be a balance of ups and downs, never perfectly up or down for any length of time. And we should be allowed to feel in response to those events.

We should be allowed to feel, because like many things in life, we need to release. Like a cloud filled with water, you deserve to let those feelings out. Like a wave that is energised in the ocean, the crash is a way to rebuild momentum.

You should never feel ashamed or embarrassed to react and have emotions. You should never feel that you must have a timeline for feeling upset. You should never repress your sadness just because someone told you: "You have to be positive".

Over time, you will learn to maintain a healthy balance. And that balance will allow you to bounce back from slumps and get out of a rut. But that doesn't mean you can't still have them.

Being positive will always have its place of impact, but so will being real, human and vulnerable. So go ahead and feel. You're only human.